What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
