Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
