He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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