Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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