Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
