I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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