yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
