Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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