just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
