You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
