I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
there is glitter all over my balls
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
