That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
