I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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