Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
