I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think a kid would responsible me up
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
