Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize