just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
