good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize