I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she looked like the before picture.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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