Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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