all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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