And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
