hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
