dude i'm inner monologue high
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
