used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
