I molested 6 butterflies tonight
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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