She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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