awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
