oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize