the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
