I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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