How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
