she was so not down for the gang bang
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
