Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
