wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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