So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
