If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
