I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
