so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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