I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize