3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
