NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
