A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
operation have a gay friend backfired
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize