I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
