I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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