I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I got her a Nickelback box set.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
