At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
