She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
