at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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