Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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