last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think my vagina is haunted
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Drunk is not a location!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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