I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
