I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
