Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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