I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
