I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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