Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
