sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
