dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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