marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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