they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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