just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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