idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
